Feeling triggered by your family? This is for you.

The holiday season is upon us and there are SO many things that wake up during this time of year around family - around being in relationships with them or choosing not to, around self-care/community care and around figuring out how to move through this season in a way that leaves us softened, supported, and most of all healthy.  

When we (consciously or subconsciously) know and experience the wounds and the traumas of our parents, our grandparents, our ancestors, we can sometimes arrive in these family moments and get really triggered. 

We’re overcome with grief, rage, and shame. With quiet contempt, disappointment, and frustration. With a desire to scream, to hide and never come out, with a feeling of sorrow that feels deeper than anything we experience in our regular life. 

Feeling triggered doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. You're not failing, you're not broken, you're not behind. Oftentimes these triggering moments are wise and wild opportunities to experience and begin to heal. 

In these moments when the wounds of our family lines get activated, instead of pushing the feelings away - instead of belittling, blaming or judging yourself - lean in. 

Leaning in is not about staying in moments that aren't healthy or safe for you, but about giving yourself space to feel through - to feel fully what's alive for you right then and there. 

So if possible and doable, retreat to a safe space for a moment, a minute, a day and let these feelings melt you, and mold you. Let them open you, and close you. Let them bring fire and rage, water and tears. Let them bring screams and sobs of injustice.

Because sometimes all that these wounds really need are sincere tears, a moment of grieving for all that was lost in our ancestor’s lives because of their trauma - all that was lost in our own lives because of their and our trauma.  

Let these wounds be invitations to embrace your rawness - your human-ness. To show up as real and true for yourself as possible.

Because when we show up for ourselves in this way, when we give ourselves a moment of space to feel, to see, to hear, and to recognize whatever wounds were triggered - shame, secrecy, heaviness, and darkness begin lifting and healing becomes possible.